The End of the Internet with Scott Myers
So… WTD fucked up and told me I can post rants and insane shit as long as it’s somewhat music related.
It’s 1991, I lived in this little bumfuck, backasswards town (Barry IL, pop 1200, if you must know). I grew up in this town, there wasn’t shit to do other than hang out on the street corner and smoke with the same losers who also had nothing better to do. I was this skinny little fucking metalhead kid with combat boots and a leather jacket 8 sizes too big and ALL I did was listen to music. I would stay at my grandma’s house on the weekends because she had cable TV and I could watch Headbangers Ball. I would drive 30 miles away to the city to buy metal CDs. I would look thru the penpal ads in Metal Edge looking for people to tape trade with so I could get some decent underground shit. Every time I bought a new CD or got a new tape I would listen to it over and over again. I fucking lived for it…
And now I live to be an internet asshole…
These are just random thoughts, in no order. Live with it…
I have seen a lot of shit in my time. I have superglued ashtrays in passed out naked women’s asses, I have fucked step-sisters. I have been in a drug induced coma for two days. I have seen cats eat an old man’s brains off the floor after he blew his head off. But never have I seen anything greater than White Trash Devil back online without that big, fat, loser bastard whose name rhymed with Sack involved… I hate you still. Review to a kill yourself slowly by keeping on eating those moonpies tubby. I hope your first coronary was worth that last slice of pie…
Dr. Perky is the single gayest name for a Dr. Pepper rip-off ever.
I am a little sad that Jam is writing books now and not working here… He still has time to post in the forums though. I still wonder how he types with his fat sausage fingers?
I would like to donkey punch the person who decided that Sebastian Bach was worthy of being on my TV screen… ever.
Riding the coat tails of a faggot like Jon Bon Jovi to stardom does not warrant your being on my TV… You are gayer than Rob Halford and Elton John in a cum drinking contest while Boy George does a ribbon twirling routine around the corpse of Liberace…
Super Group? Wouldn’t that imply that anyone even remembers the people involved in the band? Nugent hasn’t been popular since I was in fucking Kindergarten… They should’ve got my Grandpa to play guitar for the band. He’s younger and he isn’t such a fucking cocksmoker. Wango Tango yourself in front of oncoming traffic… you goddamn asshat.
Scott Ian is such a fucking VH1 whore that he might as well be on there, he’s on that goddamn channel every two minutes anyway. Do you remember when VH1 was the Anti-fucking-Christ Scottie? Do you remember when you had some balls? Billy Milano should’ve fucking ate you. But at least you were taller than Dan Spitz.
The drummer? I think he has a name. Yay, your Dad was in Led Zeppelin! Now you can go die to…
Evan Seinfeld. I remember when you had balls too. Suck every last drop out of your fifteen minutes of fame just like your wife has sucked every last drop out of every man’s cock she’s been within ten feet of. May you also die…
I am the end of the internet…
| 06/23/2006