Backdoor Jesus: Jesusjerker
Backdoor Jesus is waiting in the grass to shoot Jesus with their guns. That’s about all you need to know right now, other than the fact they play metal.
WTD: Can you tell everyone a little bit about the band’s history?
Jesusjerker: Me and my fellow Christhater gathered in 1998 due to a serious problem: we all hated Christ, we knew of his gayness, but not many others did. One day I went to the gun store to go get me a rifle for my collection, and I met an interesting person who called himself Christkiller. We talked for awhile, and he showed me some of the songs he had been writing. The lyrics were very betrothable, and I told him it would be my Christhating honor to help him in making this album. I play the guitar and Christkiller is quite the good Black Metal singer. We met Bibleburner and Nunspanker a few months later and The Backdoor Jesus Church of Guns was born! We later shortened it to Backdoor Jesus to make it more appealing.
WTD: What’s all this shit about guns and shooting Jesus? I’m all for blowing his ass away, but it seems kind of time consuming waiting for him to show up just so you can shoot him.
Jesusjerker: Christ is a gay fool, of course I don’t have to tell you this. It is written in our lyrics (which are the only truth in the world) that he will die by our guns in the grass. We wait in the grass because the world is a better place without Christ, and we feel it is our duty to destroy him (with our guns!). Besides, Christians spend Sunday at the gay orgy they call “church”. Who’s really wasting their time?
WTD: Have you seen eel porn?
Jesusjerker: No, that sounds kind of Christian, and thus gay.
WTD: Who else is in the band and what do they do?
Jesusjerker: The current members of Backdoor Jesus are myself on guitars, Christkiller on vocals, Preacherbeheader on drums, Angelraper on guitars, and Bibleburner on bass.
WTD: Anything you want to say about Bibleburner?
Jesusjerker: Bibleburner was a dear friend and an amazing drummer. Of course we all know he was accidentally shot in the grass by Christkiller (who mistook him for that gay Christ). Christkiller feels awful about it to this day and does not like talking about it. I can tell you that if Bibleburner were here he’d forgive what happened because he knows how it feels to think you’ve seen Christ. The finger automatically goes for the unholy trigger.
WTD: Where can people buy Backdoor Jesus CDs?
Jesusjerker: Right now we only sell CDs in Austria. They are big fans of us. We have sold just over 2 million copies of each album. So go to your local Austrian record store and pick up copies of Jesus=Dead and Christ Did Die (By Our Guns).
WTD: What bands influenced BDJ?
Jesusjerker: Well our favorite band is Deicide. They totally hate Christ and express it greatly through their music. We also very much appreciate the members of the BDJ Krew, including Vomited Excrement of Satan Jesus and Gary Numan.
WTD: When you sneeze and someone says “Bless you.” do you shoot them?
Jesusjerker: We understand that even Christhaters say “bless you”, so we don’t usually shoot them. Unless they say it in a very Christian way (i.e. with a gay accent). However, every time we hear it, if we don’t end up shooting the person, we educate them in how the concept of blessing is another one of Christ’s gay lies.
WTD: Do you ever fuck up putting on your corpse paint?
Jesusjerker: We used to, but since we pretty much never take it off we’ve gotten pretty good at putting it on in just a couple of minutes.
WTD: Any touring plans for the year?
Jesusjerker: Yes! In fact, in just a few months BDJ and Vomited Excrement of Satan Jesus will be touring throughout the Western USA, with a short tour in the New England area soon thereafter.
WTD: So Christ is gay?
Jesusjerker: Absolutely, do you know any other gods that encourage child molestation amongst their preachers of lies.
WTD: Exactly how many guns do you guys own?
Jesusjerker: We all lost count years ago. Our combined collection must be in the thousands. As this is how we spent most of the proceeds from Jesus=Dead and Christ Did Die (By Our Guns). Preacherbeheader and I both have a thing for old World War II guns, of which we have many.
WTD: Your thoughts on Marilyn Manson.
Jesusjerker: Manson is a fool! He used to follow Christ. And as we say, “Once a Christian, always a gay Christlover”. Manson used to actually be a big fan of the BDJ Krew in 1999 when he took a vacation to Austria. He talked to us after a show and told us he wanted to use some of our Christating ideas in his music. We protested of course because Manson is a Christian fool. He was lucky the Austrian police were there because both Bibleburner and Christkiller were loading their guns while I spoke to him.
WTD: You guys are big Deicide fans. Do you think Glen Benton is a role model for America’s youth?
Jesusjerker: Absolutely. Glen Benton is one of the few true Christhaters. You can see in his music that he and the rest of Deicide love the idea of shoting Christ with guns. We have spoken to Glen on many occasions and he occasionally comes to the grass with his shotgun to hang out with us. If Christ were to come he’d definitely be one of the first to fire.
WTD: What 5 bands would you like to shoot?
Jesusjerker: First and foremost, the BDJ Krew would all love a piece of Fred Durst and that gay band of his, Limp Bizkit. Ever since that band started Fred has been completely open about how much he loves the penis of Christ. We would also love to destroy Marilyn Manson, DC Talk, Korn, and Cannibal Corpse (because they too are false metal Christians). 5 is not enough. Basically we want to shoot everybody in this world that feels anything but hatred for that gay Christ. The world needs religious cleansing. And the BDJ Krew shall do it.
WTD: I think that wraps this up, thank you Mr. Jesusjerker. Any final comments?
Jesusjerker: Christ, on bealf of the BDJ Krew, WATCH OUT! WE ARE COMING… WITH GUNS!
Link: backdoorjesus.cjb.net
| 08/16/2002