Thor - Devastation Of Musculation
- Released: 2006
- Label: Smog Veil Records
- Rating:
Jon Mikl Thor has been performing since 1973 (the year I was born, to give you some perspective). He was a bodybuilder from Vancouver with a love for entertaining. He’s been an actor, a film producer, and most notably a rocker.
The first time I saw Thor was in the early 80s. He used to do these promos for “Power Hour,” a rock/metal show on U68 (a New Jersey based UHF channel that showed music videos). Here’s this huge, musclebound guy with long blonde hair, wearing leather and battle armor, breaking bricks over his head and bending microphone stands. It was ridiculous, but I have to admit I got a kick out of the guy.
He’s not someone that diehard metal fans took seriously; a mix of Spinal Tap, Manowar, and the Ultimate Warrior. In fact, Manowar probably owe part of their career to this guy. Thor has always adjusted his band’s style to whatever the current trend was. From his 70s glam rock to his cult favorite 80s heavy metal, Thor was always more about the entertaining than he was about the music. In the 90s Thor briefly got bitten by the nu-metal bug, but thankfully he came to his senses and went back to doing his unique blend of campy heavy metal.
Devastation Of Musculation, Thor’s latest offering, is 80s heavy metal with a modern day darkness to it (it’s also one of the worst album titles in history). The lyrics are so cheesy it’s hard to tell whether or not they’re supposed to be serious…like underground black metal. It’s so over the top, you almost wonder if you’re in on a joke with Jon Mikl. I could do a whole column just on the lyrics, and Jon’s inspiration for each song, from the press material I received. It’s fucking brilliant.
Musically, I have to admit, it’s pretty solid. It’s not the kind of metal I really care for, but the band is good. The formula is pretty much the same throughout the album: bouncy verses, upbeat chorus, flashy solo, repeat steps one and two. The biggest downside to the album is Thor’s vocals. He’s never been the greatest of singers, but his voice is showing signs of aging. Think UDO meets Billy Milano doing his Rammstein impression. Thor’s worst moment is on “Abandon.” It’s a very cheesy late 80s-ish pop-metal ballad. It’s fucking awful. The only thing worse is “The Return of Odin’s Son,” but it’s not Thor doing the sucking. Dawn Hatchard, who joins Thor on the chorus, sounds like a cross between King Diamond and a cat being strangled by a man in viking armor.
If you like old heavy metal, songs about viking warriors, wolves, and shit like that, you will fucking love this album. I honestly can appreciate Thor on some level, since I grew up a Manowar fan. The album’s closer, “Tale of the Wolf/Warriors of the Universe,” made it all worth sitting through this album. Despite the weak spots, Devastation Of Musculation is Thor’s single greatest album, although that’s probably not saying much.
Of course the single greatest thing Thor has done in his lengthy career, aside from those classic U68 promos (which I understand are on An-THOR-logy; I must get the DVD set) was his 2003 collaboration with Anal Cunt’s Seth Putnam on “Throwing Cars At People (On Coke With THOR)”. I know it will never be topped, but I find myself compelled to check out every new release just to make sure.
Reverend Sick | 06/26/2006